Hi, you lovely people.
Sorry for not being more active on word press. I know I should be but it’s really difficult maintaining a balance between work and personal life these days.
Today, I feel happy so I decided to share a secret with you guys. It’s more like a secret place. I don’t like that place but I know that, that place makes my head go through a whirlwind of emotions in a single view.
Here goes nothing…
There’s a place,
And everyone’s been there.
Some days it’s you and some days it’s me.
We often find ourselves stuck in that cabin, alone.
Wanting to hide,
But those darn mirrors on the walls won’t,
Oh yes, there are mirrors,
A lot of them.
You see yourself surrounded by the thing you dislike,
All you see around yourself is just you.
Multiplied by thousand and it’s just you and your imperfections.
Sometimes you feel happy looking at yourself in that mirror,
Other times, you just want to scream in agony and pain.
You don’t like what you see.
And all you see, you despise.
You despise your holy body for having those imperfections.
You’re there all alone.
Waiting to try something new yet stuck with a very old feeling.
Trying to put on those clothes which won’t fit,
Trying something you know isn’t meant to be.
But you find happiness looking at yourself,
Knowing you won’t actually get it but just for a single moment,
You wonder in deep amazement.
What if you were as thin as those models,
Wouldn’t you look nice in this dress?
What if you were as tall or short as your friend?
Wouldn’t that make you a beautiful person?
You think that and the next moment the bubble burst.
You start seeing what the truth is.
You see yourself for who you are and not for who you want to be.
It’s the try room that scares the Shit out of me.
Wanting to see myself as someone, I am not.
Looking in the mirror and finding a moment of temporary euphoria.
It scares me.
Yet I keep on going back because there’s my mom waiting outside,
Wanting to know how that stupid outfit would look.
She looks at me when I show up not wearing the new outfit but the shirt I went in with,
She knows. She gets it.
She gets the whole process of it all.
She was once that girl who’d hate herself,
But things changed, times changed.
With time, she learned how to be brave and fierce.
She learnt how to love herself the way she is.
One day, I’ll get there too,
And love myself the way I am.
I am trying even today,
Just a little slower on the journey, but still climbing.
It’s hard but I know I’ll reach there.
So, that’s it I guess. By the way, I was wondering about the Mahabharata series and, after a lot of thought I decided that I want to do something different for that. So I hope you’ll be getting to see that soon. Thanks for being here. ❤❤❤